Month: May 2007

Temper, temper

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I’ve been talking quite a bit about my childhood lately, which is very ironic, since I don’t remember much of it firsthand. (That’s another story, very complicated) There are many things I know about growing up though, partly due to stories I’ve been told, and some things that show in my everyday life.

I grew up with a step father that loved to argue. He was a crafty, manipulative man, and used humiliation and belittlement to win most bouts. I learned a lot of useful, horrible skills from that abusive past, and I have to consciously work every day not to do the same to my kids.

I don’t know why I’m a decent person today, because I could really be a jerk. As an adult, I’ve never lost an argument. Really. I’ve never lost a single one. Oh, I’ve been dead wrong lots of times — but never lost the argument. It’s a defense mechanism, I’m sure, but the real downside is I have to be very careful not to hurt and belittle during regular discussions. Seriously, I have make an effort every single time.

In my job, I’m often confronted with angry people that shift their frustrations directly at me. My first few years on the job, I responded off the cuff. I belittled, humiliated, and hurt those folks. I’m good at it, mind you, so I would very rarely hear back anything but apologies (usually forced by their superiors, because of course I made my lashing public). The problem is that people would HATE me, but have no real reason they could pinpoint. When you hate someone, but don’t know why — you want to be mean to them. That’s what happened. It got ugly.

So, I’ve spent the last few years trying to be the better person. I try not to take things personally, and always, ALWAYS communicate with people calmly. (Not the fake calm that wins arguments, but really calm, where the desire to destroy the opponent is gone)

Today, I was accused of responding quickly and harshly by a friend. I must admit, it took every bit of restraint I could muster not to do just that. It’s funny how things are relative. Compared to my instincts, I’m a pussy cat. Compared to the norm, I guess, I’m still edgy. Go figure.

So do I have a personality flaw, or do I just refuse to get bullied? Who knows. I never draw first blood, so I suppose my verbal karate is only used in defense. Mr. Miyagi would be proud.

Growin’ up poor

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I have a great desire to live frugally. I think, however, that growing up poor makes frugality seem poor as opposed to wise. Don’t get me wrong, I never went hungry as a kid, my Mom always made sure we had what we needed — but we weren’t even close to middle class. All in all, I’m quite happy I grew up the way I did. I think it shaped me into a person I’m relatively proud to be.

But now I have money. I’m not rich. I’m not even upper middle class, but we have a house and 2 used cars. We also have satellite TV, lots of computers, lots of take-out coffee, lots of take-out food, etc. If we make ourselves live frugally, it starts to feel like we’re poor again. I hate that.

Anyway, it’s something I’m working through. Thought I’d share.

Coke?

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dietcoke.jpgI like Diet Coke.

Donna Likes Coke Zero.

If you look at the ingredient labels, both products contain the same stuff. It must be the ratio of said ingredients. So I ask you, which no-calorie Coke is the best, and why?

Bonus points if you add comments on how vile Diet Pepsi tastes.

Ocean

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One of the stops we made on our recent vacation was at St. Augustine. It’s the oldest city in the country, or some such thing. Honestly, history really isn’t my thing — but it was also the first time I’ve ever seen the ocean. In fact, no one in my family had ever seen the ocean, so it was very special.

Girls in ocean

First off, the ocean is salty. Yeah, yeah, I know, that’s why they call it saltwater. But really, it is salty man! It’s not like, “Martha, your potato salad has a bit too much salt.”

It’s more like, “Hey look, I put my foot in the ocean. Now I have foot jerky.” It’s that bad. But enough about that.

I’ve lived in Northern Michigan for over half my life, and I’ve seen tons of lakes, rivers, ponds, streams, springs, etc, etc. After spending one morning at the ocean, however, I don’t think inland beaches are allowed to call themselves “beaches” anymore. There’s just no comparison.

One of my favorite CDs is that “sounds of the ocean” kind that is basically a recording of the ocean. I’ve never liked the ones that interject music into the mix — I like just the ocean sound. Much like a picture of pumpkin pie isn’t anywhere near as nice as tasting pumpkin pie, those CDs don’t do the ocean justice. The depth and intricacies of the crashing waves are really indescribable. I found myself lost in a paradise that seemed, even at the time, to be cliche. I lay there on the beach, with my straw hat over my face, and drifted away. It was like feeling the vastness of space. If infinity had a voice, it would be the ocean.

Florida, baby!

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We’re leaving for an 8 day trip to Florida today. I’ll do my best to post from the road, but I urge you to read my daughter Amanda’s trip blog. Her teacher assigned her the task of journaling every day, and we’re posting it for her class (and the world, I guess) to see.

Stop by and check it out!

If I could sleep, I’d be less awake.

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Can’t sleep. I might take some sleeping pills, but the fear there is that it’s so late I might not get up in the morning. Once midnight comes and goes, I grow leery about taking ’em.

I’ll probably go take a couple Sominex anyway. It’s not like I have to get up early tomorrow. G’night everyone.

Chocolate Pop-Tarts

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Last weekend, we traveled to Grand Rapids for my sister’s college graduation. We really tried to be frugal, and so we bought snacks, etc. for the trip. One of the snacks was Chocolate Pop-Tarts. As all too often happens after a long trip, much of the travel fodder remained in the van.

Yesterday I plugged my cellphone into the car charger. For some reason, it didn’t go in quite right, so I looked at the connector, expecting to find some pocket lint in the way. As you probably already guessed, chocolate Pop-Tart filling was oozing from the charging port on my Razr phone. I’ve never had chocolate anything anger me quite so much.

Anyway, after about 45 minutes of scraping and wiping, if I wiggle the cable just right the phone will charge. I’m hoping the rest of the goo will wear off, but the way my luck goes, it will probably only attract dust and dirt.

And it was FRIDAY. I can’t believe Friday let me down…

Twitchy Hip

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I just want to share a frustration with the world. My right hip twitches. This may not seem terribly newsworthy, but my right hip is also where I clip my cellphone. I put my cellphone on vibrate, and my darn twitchy hip makes it feel like I have a call.

I just had to vent. I hope your day is twitch free.

UPDATE: It just did it again, and I grabbed my empty hip to answer the phone that wasn’t even there. Grrrrr.