Apparently, to me, this sign means: “Women, men in kilts, or people who enjoy sitting in recliners are welcome in this room.” Since I fall into the last category, its OK for me to stroll in, right?
Here’s the deal: my wife and 2 youngest daughters were looking at “capri pants” or some such girly thing. I thought we were about to leave, so I left the electronics department (where I was dreaming of buying a PS2 with Guitar Hero) and followed the fam’ to the front of the store.
When they stopped by the girl’s clearance rack, I figured I had some time to kill, so decided to jaunt to the bathroom. I’m not sure if Walmart stores all over put little displays of guitars and telescopes near the restrooms — but here in northern Michigan, there’s always guitars, telescopes, and metal detectors right outside the bathroom doors.
As I gazed longingly at a $300 telescope, I walked directly into the ladies room. Thankfully, a surprised shopper (of the female variety) was on her way out as I walked in, and I noticed my error by the mortified look on her face.
The good news? Well, apparently I’m manly enough that I don’t pass for a woman. It would have been much more damaging to my psyche if the woman thought it correct for me to walk into the same restroom she had just used. Also, it’s good that she was on her way out, and I didn’t run into her INSIDE the room as I looked around curiously for the urinals.
Oh well, no harm, no foul. I quickly did an about face and went into the proper room, where men get to just pee at the porcelain wall decorations. Heck, in Walmart, we don’t even have to flush anymore — there are sensors that do it for us. If only they could make sensors that automatically made guys wash their hands. Am I the only guy on the planet that actually washes his hands after using the bathroom? Don’t answer that, my manliness has been challenged enough today…