See, that’s the sorta thing I got today at the doctor’s office. I haven’t really been that public with the horrific problems I’ve been having with migraines lately — but suffice to say it has affected my daily comings and goings quite severely. After another trip to the hospital on Sunday night, I decided to try the doctor approach again. See, I have bad luck with doctors and my brain.
So this is a new doctor. No preconceived notions, no hidden agendas, no reason to treat me any way other than “textbook”. And textbook is what I want at this point.
- I’m allergic to Triptan drugs. Those are the drugs like Imitrex, Maxalt, and the like. You know, migraine medicine. So yeah, that sucks.
- I have no idea what triggers my migraines. Raw onions give me a headache, so I try hard to avoid them. Other than that, there seems to be no pattern to the triggers.
- There is no 3. Really, I’m not that medically interesting for a 3. Apart from my car accident (click above if you don’t know what I’m talking about), I’m a normal bloke. Slightly overweight, slightly high blood pressure, and on an SSRI for some OCD issues I struggle with. That’s it.
The new doctor with a fresh pair of eyes thinks I’m full of crap.
Mind you, if it was a figurative “full of crap” I was referring to, I could write it off to me looking like a drug seeker or something. I dunno, maybe I’m too twitchy. Maybe the stress I’m under makes my eyes dart around in a “crazy heroine addict” sorta way. But no, when I say “full of crap”, I mean just that. The doctor suggested a colon cleansing.
Oh, I’m sorry. Does that make you uncomfortable? Yeah, well it didn’t really thrill me either. My colon is causing migraines? I actually looked for a smirk to see if he was kidding. But again, no.
So, because I’m a good patient, and because my health insurance won’t let me see a neurologist without a referral, I’ll be pooping like a goose for the next few weeks. We ordered “Oxy Cleanse” or some such supplement, and while I’m sure it will flush my colon, cleanse my aura, and purify my spirit — I’m rather doubtful it will help with my migraines.
You know, maybe the doctor was hard of hearing, and thought I was suffering from chronic hemorrhoids. At least that would make more sense.
Interestingly enough, my brother in law also has migraines triggered by raw onions. Seems an unusual food trigger to me…
I had migraines from 5th grade through the end of college. Then they disappeared. I still occasionally get wicked headaches, but they’re not migraines.
I hope all this works out.
I love this review of Oxy Cleanse, “This stuff works. Better sleep on a brown towel the first night.” Now I can’t wait for the blog post that comes after your first night.
See, now I’m singing the Scrubs “Poo Song” (from their musical episode).
Have you considered seeing a chiropractor? Mine has helped with my headaches and migraines quite a bit.
I also noticed that when I cut processed foods out of my diet, my migraines really diminished. I used to get one a week, and now I only get one or two a year! Sugar, alcohol, and caffeine are all common migraine triggers that I’ve heard.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Can I please take a big stick to your GP? Pretty please? I won’t cause permanent damage. Hmmm, maybe I’ll spike his food with Oxy Cleanse instead.
Have I made my opinion clear? 🙂
Silly Neurondoc, the big stick treatment is for numbness in the extremities. C’mon, you’re not fooling anybody with your “science”. 😀
Humph. I still want to hit your PCP with a stick. You’re just being mean and not letting me have any fun.