Hi! How have you been? I realize it’s been a while since I last wrote you, and quite frankly I was hoping another letter wouldn’t be necessary. It turns out, however, that you sent another one of your famous conundrums my way. I realize it may be your little brother Karma that has been shanking me in the shower for most of the year for burning ants with a magnifying glass as a child, but to mess things up this much, I suspect you had a part in it.
See, while the house you so lovingly destroyed is just about replaced — the little catch 22 you threw into the mix is quite a beauty. The manufacturer won’t release the house until they get paid, and the escrow company won’t release the money until they inspect the house. I’m sure you see the problem, and I suspect you planned it this way. Anyway, I just wanted to write and let you know I’ve adopted a supermassive black hole. Oh, it will take some time, but ol’ Blackey will eventually suck all your belongings into nothingness.
If you’d like to work things out, I’ll be in my basement. Don’t worry, you’ll be able to see me — there’s no house covering it. I’ll be down there burning ants. Feel free to put on your ant costume and come for a visit.
Your buddy and pal,