My Pants are All Shrinking…

OK, so here’s the deal: I’m currently claiming more than my fair share of matter in the universe. I’ve had this struggle before, and it’s usually due to stress at work. (Well, ok, it’s indirectly due to stress at work, it’s actually due to eating lots of food and being a lazy SOB) It’s not that I’m terribly vain, and need to look like an Olympic swimmer to impress my wife, but I still need to lose weight. Here’s why:

  • My wife deserves to have a man that looks good. This is largely because she is way out of my league, and she loves me anyway. That’s the kind of woman that you want to look good for.
  • My heart tends to not like me a whole lot. It insists that if I’m even slightly overweight, that I must want my blood pressure to be dangerously high. No amount of fatty foods and couch sitting can convince it otherwise. I’ve tried.
  • I kinda want to be alive. Ya know, not dead and stuff. I don’t have the luxury of being mildly overweight and remaining relatively healthy. My body, my blood pumper specifically, has very strict guidelines under which it agrees to keep me alive for the long haul. This, by the way, sucks.

SO, if you see me walking down the street eating a cupcake, slap it out of my hand. Actually, most of you live quite a ways away from me, so if you see me walking down the street, it likely means I’m stalking you. Call the police.

That said, if I seem particularly grumpy in the near future — it’s not anything you’ve done. Except that you haven’t fed me. And that’s a good thing. Anyway, wish me luck. I need to lose about 25-30 pounds.

(Oh, and those of you thinking I look a nice healthy weight in my videos and such — you’re very kind, but unfortunately, I carry my weight well. Very few people guess that I’m pushing 200 pounds, but in fact, I am.)

13 thoughts on “My Pants are All Shrinking…”

  1. Not to be a party pooper Shawn, but exercise is the way to go if you want to keep your weight down.

    Something else to consider, that you probably don’t want to hear, but lack of sleep can lead to weight gain. When you don’t get enough sleep your hormones freak out and decided that you need to put on more weight to make up for the lack of sleep.

    I know you just changed your work hours–you may want to see if you can work on your sleep schedule at all, to make sure you’re getting 7 to 8 hours. However, I do believe that it doesn’t have to be 8 hours all in one shot. You can take naps to make up your deficit.

    Also, some studies have fund melatonin to be useful to those who have to change their sleep schedule. And blackout blinds are useful for sleeping when it is not dark.

    Either way, good luck. Wanna carrot stick?

  2. Good luck, Shawn. I’m needing to join you, actually, because we want to take a cruise this fall, and no one wants to see an over 40 fat girl at the pool.

    The first annual SAS meeting tomorrow will feature only low-cal, low-fat recipes, even though they won’t sound like it. The cool think about virtual food is that we can assign whatever caloric value we like. Take THAT, uncooperative heart!

  3. Shawn I think it’s time you stop stalking me. Michelle has a point about not getting enough sleep. You might have to start sleeping more and spend less time outside my house lurking in the shadows. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy the attention but you have to think of your health.

    Remember Stephen Colbert says baby carrots try to turn you gay!

  4. Shawn, I completely understand… and I’m amused at the way you put it.

    About five years ago I lost a lot of weight, and was feeling pretty darn frisky and healthy. Unfortunately, I did it using a low-carb approach, which I wasn’t able to sustain, and over the years of regular-to-slightly-indulgent eating habits, I’ve gained most of it back. Well, plus that virtual office completely sedentary behavior. ๐Ÿ˜›

    So, I’ve been working on that over the last couple of months two, just cutting desserts & portion sizes and increasing my activity level. The jeans have loosened up a bit, but I still have a long way to go!

    Thankfully, other than being hard on my bad knee, I’ve had no other effects from my weight – BP & cholesterol are fine.

  5. I lost 65 pounds 2 years ago, switching to a near-fat-free vegan diet. I was healthier than ever before in my life, and was all around a happy person.

    But it’s hard, because if you’re vegan, you pretty much have to cook EVERYTHING you eat. And it’s complicated. And you have to chop stuff. And saute stuff. And buy every spice known to man.

    It was good, and healthy, and after about 6 weeks, I never craved non-vegan foods. But then life got busy, and I started to slip. I’ve gained back about half that weight, and I need to stop QUICK!!!

    I don’t think I have to the time to be vegan again, but hopefully I can learn to eat less.

  6. You might consider leaving out the meat and continuing to eat fish. That’s far easier to sustain, since you can actually eat in many restaurants, but may be more likely to make a healthy menu choice–unless of course the only fish available is deep fried. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I’ve found that eating small snacks, like yogurt and fruit, throughout the day, keeps me from feeling famished when I eat, which makes me far less likely to eat too much for dinner.

    Of course, osteoporosis runs in my family, so I try to get lots of calcium, so the yogurt is a two-for-one deal.

  7. I can’t recommend weight training enough. Aerobic exercise never really works for me, I get cardiovascularly fit, but don’t really lose weight. If I weight train, the pounds come off. Good luck!!

  8. 65 lbs is a great accomplishment! I’m sure you can do it again this time around… just takes focus.

    Did you read the news on the study correlating adenovirus infections and weight gain? Pretty interesting.

    All emotional eating issues aside, it is odd how naturally thin people can eat quite a bit more than those who tend toward overweight and maintain their weight. Metabolic rates differ, even at rest. And while those of us who tend toward obesity can adopt the right habits and increase our activity levels, it’s just not as easy for us as it is for the metabolically blessed.

    When I was in high school and college, I swam competitively, 4 hours a day. I weight lifted an hour a day. I ran a few times a week for lower body strength, and for fun I played racquetball and softball. I ate a fairly healthy diet, and I still was 10-15 lbs overweight (by body fat content, not by Madison Avenue standards).

    So, my long and rambling point is… some of us just have to work harder at it. Good luck with your efforts!

  9. I’m with Tania. I really enjoy weight training and too much cardio is boring. I do both to keep myself entertained. Besides, as I said elsewhere today (not a hijack, I swear), weight training is supposed to help you lose more weight because your body is working to repair muscles all day long, not just during the workout.


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