With all apologies to my friends from the Pacific Northwest — y’all burn your beans. I have tried, over and over, to enjoy dark roasted coffee. I love that they call dark roast coffee “gourmet” coffee. What the heck?!?!
If you cook your bread until it’s black, that’s called burnt toast.
If your pancakes are “roasted” until they’re black? Burnt.
If your marshmallow catches on fire and turns black — it’s BURNT.
Here’s the secret: Roasting coffee is like roasting marshmallows. It’s precise. It takes patience. Too little, and your mallow is cold and firm in the middle. Too much, and it tastes like the campfire that roasted it.
And don’t get me started on French Roast. It’s like the French roasters must say, “Oh look, zee beans are perfect! We have achieved the best possible flavour from our amazing roaster! How great we are. These roasted coffee beans will have better flavour than any beans in the history of histories. We are such great roasters of… Oh crap, they burned. Oh well, it’s just a little burned. We’ll say that’s how we like it.”
Medium roast. Brewed REALLY strong. That is all. You’re welcome.