You are a powdered drink mix. Just like chopped steak is still hamburger, and Crocs are just weird rubber shoes, you are not a gourmet beverage. Please do not pretend to be so. In fact, I suspect you may actually be a prank beverage, because it seems that when I made a cup in my gourmet single serving brewing apparatus … Read more
It is the time of year where we get presents. That means it’s the time of year for awkward moments where you must pretend your gift is something you’ve always wanted. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about, “It’s the thought that counts” — but we’ve all gotten those 3 armed sweaters from Crazy Aunt Judy. It’s the time of … Read more
Whenever I’m overwhelmed, Donna reminds me how to eat an elephant. One bite at a time. It’s really good advice, and yet I still try to poke that thing down in one gulp. I always fail of course, and have guilt, more stress, an increasing workload, and a lovely shame spiral that seems to never end. Ahh, RealLife™, how greatly … Read more
I read that fish relieve stress. I also know that caring for fish can be very stressful. Ironic that. So, following the advice of my Internet friends on Twitter, I decided to adopt a betta fish. I have a 1.5 gallon tank, and he seems quite happy. He likes to strut his stuff and flare his gills and fins quite … Read more
I saw the doctor today, and he says I’m better! I no longer have pneumonia, I am no longer contagious, and I can return to work in the morning! Yay! Hooray! Well, sorta. I’m glad to be over the hump. Really, I am. I gotta be honest though, I thought being healed would feel a whole lot better. I still … Read more
If you’ve been following me on Twitter, Facebook, or suchthelike, you most likely know that I’m absurdly sick. Today is the 13th day I’ve been bedridden, and it’s getting frustrating. I started with what I think was Influenza (I say that instead of “Flu”, because the stomach flu is what most people call the “Flu”, and it’s really not the … Read more
I’ve never had my fever spike before, at least not when I was in a place I could do nothing about it. On the way home from the doctor today, my fever went up. WAY up. I didn’t have a thermometer with me, but it’s fair to say it was a very scary experience. I sat there and hallucinated as … Read more
Here’s the thing, I’m a sickly man. It’s true. I seem to get every sniffle, infection, cold, pneumonia, etc that can afflict a person. Add to that my chronic migraines, and I’ve seen my fair share of bedrest. I’m pretty sure I have the flu right now. I looked up symptoms (after I tallied all mine, so I didn’t become … Read more
I’ve lost weight before. Lots of weight. In fact, over about 6 months, I lost 60 pounds. It was impressive. I felt great, looked great, and had the willpower of a hunk of granite. This time, I’m not so great with the willpower. So I’ll give you some of the things I do to help curb my appetite. It’s not … Read more
WARNING: This post is a long, wordy, self-discovery thread in which I reveal more about myself than anyone likely cares to know. It’ll probably be boring. Feel free to click away now, I won’t be offended. 🙂 I wish I would follow my own advice. Really, I do. See, my simple advice to everyone is a two step process: Figure … Read more