General Thoughts

The Economy is Fixed

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See? I have lots. And I can copy and paste lots more. Feel free to download as much cash as you like.No really, it’s finally fixed. CNN reports the stock market is headed upwards on a steady rise to its previous highs. The stimulus package has taken hold, and jobs are being created. The Midwest alone has seen a 4% decrease in unemployment, and more jobs are being created every day.

White House corespondent Julie Swarnok reports, “Now is the time to invest. Now is the time to spend. The economy is finally fixed, and while it will build slowly, it will build.”

What does this mean for the every day Joe (not Joe the Plumber, oy)? Well it means it’s time to either hire people, or to get a job yourself. Big business? It’s time to spend money. Big tech businesses? It’s time to sponsor bloggers and podcasters. Lucrative investments now will cement your brand in the hearts and minds of the very crowd that is beginning to spend again.

I happen to know a blogger/podcaster that would be interested. 🙂

So there you have it. The economy is fixed. Go tell it on the mountain. Go buy something. Go hire someone. And while you’re at it, make me a sandwich.

How I Broke Into Our Van (with Video)

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There have been some questions about my Houdini act, so I’ll set the record straight…

1) I am not the one that locked the keys in the car. I think that’s important to note. So, noted. 🙂

2) Our van is a 2007 Caravan, and doesn’t lend itself to jamming a coat hanger anywhere. Well, not with any actual hopes of doing anything useful.

3) I used the piece of plastic (a cheap cutting board) to jam in between the door and the car. The baffles that prohibit stuff getting jammed in there are pretty easily (read: hour of jamming and wedging) fooled by a piece of stiff yet flexible plastic.

4) Once I had the plastic half in and half out, I poked a hole in the plastic and set a snare with the string.

5) Using physics to both bend the plastic so it would properly lasso the lock mechanism, and gravity to aid in the targeting system, I looped a slip knot around the lock and snugged it up.

6) I shimmied the string up the plastic sheet and then tugged to unlock the door.

7) The theft deterrent system immediately honked my victory to the neighborhood. 🙂

For those of you that are visual learners, here’s a reenactment of the whole thing:

I Want You To Win

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No, my hand really isn't as big as my head. It's called perspective, people. If my hand WAS that big, it'd be kinda cool. But only at first. Glove buying would suck.No really, I do. You know that awesome magazine company I work for? Well, you can get a year subscription to the digital version absolutely free. FREE. No strings attached. All you have to do is solve a puzzle and fill out a form. And puzzles are fun, so it’s like 2 gifts in one. 🙂

You have to watch videos to find the clues, but they’re short videos, so it shouldn’t be too painful. Here I’ll even give you links to each video. See, now it’s like three gifts in one. I just give and give…

Video 1 (the video includes instructions on what to do)
Video 2
Video 3
Video 4
Video 5 — this is just me telling you how to claim your prize.

The contest is for TODAY ONLY!!!! So don’t delay, or it’s like getting zero gifts. 😉

UPDATE: I’m giving out clues over here. Just FYI.

Stimulus or Pillage?

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Does anyone know where to get real information about mortgage assistance, etc, that the stimulus package is supposedly providing? Here’s the deal:

I get about 10 calls a day telling me how they want to relieve my overly-big mortgage payment. 10 calls. 8-9 of those calls are scams (Michigan is getting hammered with stimulus scams), and the others seem like desperate mortgage brokers trying hard to pay their own bills by refinancing anyone they can.

If I’m paying for this stimulus package, along with my kids and grandkids in the future, it only seems fair that I look to see if I am eligible for monies from it, no? Anyone know the proper way to find information?

Signed,
Big Bills McGrudy

UPDATE: Yeah, so I don’t qualify for anything. Figures. 😉

When I Grow Up

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We all have silly dreams about what we’d like to do. As a kid I wanted to be an astronaut. (And by kid, I mean last week…) Silly things like mortgages, food buying, and raising a family can often squelch our dreams. So what do you do with those unmet longings? Well, I’m not a soothsayer or anything, but I can tell you what I’m trying to do. Maybe you will find a way to scratch your itch as well.

As a career, I’ve always wanted to do one of three things:

  • Be a writer
  • Be a radio DJ
  • or own a coffee shop

My career is related to none of those. Sadly. Rather than live a life of disappointment, however, I’ve try to never forget my dreams and aspirations. As far as the first point goes, writing for Linux Journal has certainly scratched that itch a bit. THIS blog, however, really does allow me to express myself in any way I see fit. Since it’s just my personal space, and not a topic specific blog — I can write about anything I so desire. It’s actually pretty nice.

As far as being a DJ, well, you’ve all seen my attempts to fill that void. Videos, podcasts, etc. I’m actually cooking up the idea for a regular podcast over at Linux Journal, and I have some pretty good audio equipment. Every time I perform either live or recorded, it just feels good. Perhaps it’s narcissism. Perhaps it’s conceit. Or maybe I just like to entertain others. I’m hoping for the latter.

And lastly, a coffee shop. So far all I’ve managed to do in that venue is drink a lot of coffee. I still haven’t given up the dream, but the actual coffee shop itself might have to wait until I retire. When I’m 92. 🙂

What about you? Do you have any silly aspirations that you keep pushing back into your subconscious because it’s not practical? Do you have an itch that needs to be scratched? Are you living your dream? Inquiring minds want to know.

Leaving On A Jetplane

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Well, not really a jetplane. More like a big van. I’ll be away for a couple days at a youth group retreat. I may or may not have Internet access while gone, but I’ll be busy for sure regardless.

See you on the flip side!