Hockey & Bathtub Peeing

LergYesterday, a really good friend let me use his wife’s season ticket and go to a Michigan vs Michigan State hockey game with him. (Yes, his wife approved) I’d never been to a hockey game before, so I planned to write about it. In fact, while I was there I was thinking about what I would mention.

5 minutes inside the Joe Louis Arena, I knew the focus of my post would be about the bathrooms. I didn’t take a picture, because, well, it’s the bathroom. Here’s the deal: at this multi-million dollar structure, where the Red Wings play and the Ice Capades do their capading, the bathrooms are like something out of a 1982 roller rink. There are long, bathtub-like troughs into which men stand and pee. Sword fighting not withstanding, it’s an odd experience. As I stood too close to the partially exposed man next to myself, I wondered WHY ON EARTH it was designed this way (the bathroom, not my… nevermind.) The space wasn’t more efficient, as only 3 men could write their names in the bathtub at a time, and each tub took the space of about 3 urinals. It was gross. No offense, but I don’t want to see another man’s urine “flow by” while I’m relieving myself. Add the drunken stupor of the 3rd period, and I was actually in danger of being splashed by a laughing, beer filled urinator. But I digress…

The game was actually the highlight (and most memorable part) of the evening. If you’re a hockey fan, and never seen a live game, you’re missing out. The rink was much smaller than it appears on TV, and you could see rich detail that looks so plain on the tube. The puck’s spinning, smacking, bouncing, and clunking make it seem so much more real. And yes, the body checks look more painful from 30 feet away.

I found myself jumping out of my seat when State scored, and shaking my fist right along with the masses during the fight song. That is SOOOOO not like me. The whole experience was quite surreal. I was excited to go, because I’d never done anything like it before, but it really exceeded my expectations. I actually want to see more college hockey! I want to get Dish Network so that I can see the games! (and the SciFi channel…)

Anyway, it was an awesome day. Thank you Terry and Maria, I’m sure it’s an experience I’d have never lived if not for your invite. GO STATE!!!

Oh, Rion.

Orion's BeltWe hustled into the house last night, because the air was so cold it froze together our nose hairs as we breathed. If you’ve ever walked in sub-zero temperature, you know exactly what I mean. πŸ™‚ Before we opened the van door, however, Donna and I briefly gazed up at Orion, and his belt. While I’m usually the star gazer, Donna made my heart flutter a little when she mentioned Orion was her favorite constellation. That fact that she has a favorite constellation is cool, calling it by name is awesome.

As most things usually do, that got me thinking. What do you see when you look up at the stars? Are you amazed at our smallness? Do you find it odd that some of the twinkles are actually from millions of years ago, and some billions? Do you just see big and little dippers?

Whenever I gaze into the heavens, I am in awe. The universe is just that, awe inspiring. I want my kids to look up, and visit distant galaxies, wonder what the pink Orion Nebula smells like, and experience joy and sadness at the sheer immensity of “up.”

When they watch Star Trek, I want them to live vicariously through Captain Piccard and Wesley Crusher. When the space shuttle launches, I want them to think, “WOW!!! Those guys are going to SPACE!!!” I hope they believe interstellar travel is possible, it just hasn’t been invented yet. Never underestimate the power of dreams. Never underestimate the dreams the night sky can produce.

Look up my friend, look up.

How great is winter?

Ask me my favorite season, and you’ll get a different answer on any given day.

Fall, especially here in Northern Michigan, is absolutely stunning. The trees put on a show as they pack up for winter that makes the 4th of July fireworks seem pathetic. Summer, while often too hot for my taste, has long, beautiful days full of business and relaxation mingled together. Even if the only good thing summer provides is a reason to make sun tea — that alone is worth it. πŸ™‚ Spring, while often cold and mucky (especially up here), brings promise of new life. The trees come back from their vacation, the seedlings begin to poke through the soil, and the birds are there to pester the squirrels away from their feeders again.

Swingset in the backyardSince we’re in the middle of winter, this is currently my favorite season. If you are too southerly to get snow, boy are you missing out. Don’t get me wrong, I really don’t like the cold — but from the confines of a warm house, the blankets of snow seem wonderfully cozy. Add a fireplace or a wood stove, and you’ve got a recipe for poetry. Add a cup of tea or coffee, and you’ve got a taste of the divine.

And with that, I’ll close. I’m going to put the fire under the tea kettle, and steep some Earl Grey.

Writer’s Block Journal

I have nothing interesting to say. Don’t get me wrong, I have lots of things I want to write about — but I can’t seem to “Use My Words” like Mom used to tell me. I want to write about my silly habit of curling up by the heater vent on a cold morning. I have some pretty deep thoughts regarding writing in general. Even the moon and it’s future colonization is rattling around my melon recently. I just can’t seem to write the thoughts in my head.

I think that a good writer is someone that can get their thoughts into words. Thoughts don’t suffer from repetitive word usage, grammar problems, etc. Thoughts are so non-linear, drifting, creative things, that writing them down is the art form, not dreaming them up in the first place. How I long for the Vulcan mind meld technology to surpass the current day voice recognition.

Anyway, I have to be careful, or this will become writing, and I’m convinced that I’m unable to write right now. Good night everyone. Maybe I’ll dream up the words to describe the beautiful snowfall we had today.

–20 minutes of pacing the house, etc–

See, here I am again. Couldn’t sleep. Still can’t write. It’s terribly depressing when the tool you use to express yourself is broken. I have an almost palpable weight in my chest. It’s like my heart is a little too heavy. Usually I’d resort to some snarky comment, or shallow but humorous diatribe about some equally shallow topic. (Restaurant spikes anyone?) I think the trouble I’m really having is that I realize my writing reflects what I want people to see rather than what is really down deep in my soul. Nothing rings true like truth. I should put that on a T-Shirt or something.

Why can’t I write what’s really inside me? Maybe because I’m afraid I’m really not that interesting. I can make things interesting, but I think deep down I’m afraid that if I were to write for real, REALLY REAL, it wouldn’t be very good. In other words, expose my soul only to find my soul is rather ordinary. If I write superficially, it can be fun to read, and fun to write — but it’s safe. If I write about my inadequacies, fears, inner conflicts, secret self-esteem issues, contradicting core beliefs, etc — it’s scary. There are things I don’t even think about, much less write about.

So is that what a good writer does? Expose their soul? Does it take a special kinda soul to be a great writer? If I’m afraid to be real in my writing, how can I expect anyone to connect with it? Writing is like standing naked in a huge room of fully dressed beauty pageant judges. The possibility of applause is so easy to squelch with the horrifying reality that even one of those judges won’t like the way you look.

Maybe this post, which will be read by half a dozen people at most, is the first step toward being a good writer. Writing is so much more than grammar and spelling. I want to experience it to the fullest. Maybe this paranoid, depressed, writers-blockism is all a part of it. Time will tell. For now, I’ll waffle a bit about whether to click “Publish” or “Delete.”

Glucking

handshake2.jpgDonna’s been coaching volleyball for… 10ish years or so. (No, that’s not her team in the photo, it’s actually Roger Bacon High in Ohio, I didn’t have a picture our our team) I’ve grown to love the game, but there are a few things that really make me smile, even after so many years of watching.

Before any two volleyball teams play each other, they line up on opposite sides of the net, and proceed to slap hands with their opponents, and wish them good luck in the game. The girls are all good sports, but the enthusiasm level during the well-wishing isn’t at it’s highest. When you’re in the stands, you really can’t hear it well, but on the bench, it’s hilarious to hear both teams chant, “g’luck, g’luck, g’luck, g’luck, g’luck” right down the line.

What’s the point of my post? Not much, other than it’s one of the little joys in life that I’m making an effort to notice. πŸ™‚ If you’re trying to enjoy the little things in life as well, I wish you g’luck!

How to make yourself happy

No, not that, you sicko…

I was reading an article about being happy. It’s one of those things that I’ve always struggled with, so the article really sucked me in. I’ve been across the gamut when it comes to finances. Well, OK, I’ve been across the lower end of that gamut. I make around $40,000 — which should be very comfortable. I’ve noticed that in my life, I’m no more happier now (in general) than when we were financially struggling following a devastating car accident. In fact, I recall more happiness back then. Odd, no?

Here’s a quick list from the article that I’m going to try to adopt:

  • Make lists of things for which you’re grateful in your life
  • practice random acts of kindness
  • forgive your enemies
  • notice life’s small pleasures
  • take care of your health
  • practice positive thinking
  • invest time and energy into friendships and family.

On a related note — I really suck at financial responsibility. More money hasn’t helped. Maybe if I live a little happier, I’ll be more likely to make wise decisions. I say that, because it seems as though a lot of the poor financial decisions I/we make are to make us happy. Even when it works, the happiness surely isn’t sustainable.

I’ll close with 2 things. One, I am constantly telling people, “If this is the worst thing that happens today, it’s a GREAT day!” — I need to heed my own wisdom.

Secondly, here’s one of life’s small pleasures that I noticed today. It reminds me of how much our dog enjoys playing with this, one of his only toys. All the “things” I have don’t bring me the pleasure this simple, beaten up toy brings Tigger. Which of us is smarter?

Tigger's Mouse

The perfect morning

I had a glimpse of a perfect morning (Shawn style), earlier today. It was tainted by sick day guilt, but it was still a refreshing, almost utopia-like view of morning perfection.

I sat at the kitchen counter, on a hard wooden stool. The sun was pouring in the window behind me so that I could feel the warmth soak through my bathrobe. My feet fiddled around with the bar stool rungs, and my over sized monster slippers amused me because they are too big to be practical, yet too fun not to wear. Surprisingly, the contrast of the hard chair, and cold, white, countertop against the cozy bathrobe/slipper/sun combo was quite pleasant. I read my morning paper (which for me, is a 12″ PowerBook, browsing random blogs), and sipped on some fresh coffee. The quiet of a still home, interrupted by occasional sips and “cla-dunk” sounds as I nursed the mug, offered a glimpse of perfection.

The moment vanished quickly, because the dog barked at the neighbor, and the sun brightened a bit so that my screen was hard to read — but those few moments were amazing. I hope that you get a moment or two of perfection today, they make the rest of reality a little easier to manage. πŸ™‚

Sick day guilt

Many months ago (and 2 blog software iterations ago), I did an experiment which involved waking up every morning at 5AM. It was difficult, but I made a video podcast every morning, and it was fun. At the end of the 30 days, I went back to waking up around 7AM, and life went on as normal.

Ironically, my work schedule recently changed, such that I now wake up every morning at 3AM, and go into work at 4. Yikes. Today, I woke up with a huge headache at 3, and tried to get rid of it, so that I could at least go in for a half day at 8. By 6:30, I realized I wasn’t going to be able to manage, so I called in sick. (I still had to leave a message, because no one else gets there before 7:30, but the deed was done.)

I crawled out of bed around 10:30AM, and still felt miserable. Donna had brewed a pot of coffee (she doesn’t drink coffee — it was just for me, awe…), and I felt it was time to move on with the day, headache or not.

The problem I have with sick days, is that I can’t rest. I have this cursed work ethic that gnaws at my soul when I’m home instead of at work. I even have that problem on vacation days. It’s 1PM now, and I feel the urge to go into work and do the things I didn’t do earlier. How sad is that? With my contractually accumulated sick days, I could take off a month and a half STRAIGHT, and no one could complain. I could never do that though. Is that admirable, pathetic, or possibly a little of both?

So how about you, lone reader, do you have sick day guilt when you stay home?

I, writer.

I write because I want people to value my thoughts. Is it because I have self-worth issues? Maybe, but more than that I think it’s that the brain is a lonely place. I am a family man, and my wife and kids know me very well. There is a privacy in thoughts, however, that you can’t really convey well in daily banter. So, I write.

I’d love to be a career writer. No, I’m not saying that fishing for praise or criticism, but rather to lead into the reason I’m rather afraid to do it. Does writing for cash ruin the craft? See, on another level, I love technology. I speak computer. If you’re one of those people that just understand what a computer is or isn’t doing, you know what I mean. I have almost an intuition regarding computer problems, and I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t fix. (Boy was that conceited…) I logically took a career in the computer industry. I’m a Technology Director for a K12 school district. I like computers a lot less than I used to. Really.

Is writing the same? I LOVE to write. I may not have a natural flare for writing like I have for computer repair (again, not fishing for compliments or scorn), but I love it. It fulfills me, and I love to have people read my work. It’s a feeling I can’t explain. Maybe it’s deep seated in a psychological need for acceptance, I dunno, but it gives me joy. If I had to write for a paycheck, would I enjoy it as much? I really don’t know that answer.

Thankfully, I can write as much as or as little as I want. And if you are reading this, at least one person is reading my stuff. πŸ™‚ (Sorry I make you read my blog Donna, you’re very sweet to do so without falling asleep)

Maybe someday I’ll be able to report on whether getting paid for writing ruins it. But today, I’ll just click publish, make a cup of coffee, and enjoy my Saturday.

So now I have to get famous

First off, I fully believe that “famous people” are absolutely normal people. Often quirky, but that’s not an attribute reserved for the famous. They’re just people.

If there is a difference, it’s the huge disadvantage they have because they’re known by so many more people than they know themselves. So what’s a star to do? Good question, and one that those of us with limited fame can only guess.

It’s not uncommon to see actors, singers, etc. together. While I’m sure it’s not terribly fun to be known by so many, and know so few — misery seems to love company. It makes sense to find comfort with folks that understand the plight of fame. (and yes, I’m sure it is a burden, the cool factor would wear off quickly)

What am I getting at? Here’s the deal:

I’m a fan of Wil Wheaton. Yes, I’m a Trekkie — but much more than that, I enjoy his writing. In fact, he’s the kind of person I’d like to have a cup of coffee with, and discuss our vastly differing views on things. I don’t want his autograph, I don’t want to pose with him for pictures, I don’t want a poster, and I don’t want to steal his shoes to sell on ebay.

Here’s the problem: Wil Wheaton happens to be rather famous. To add insult to injury, the only way I was ever exposed to his writing is due to his connection with Star Trek. I’m not a groupie, I don’t know his favorite foods, I’ve never stood in line for his autograph — but it it weren’t for his fame, I’d probably never have been exposed to his blog.

So now, any attempts to contact him outside the normal “Wil, what was it like to work with Patrick Stewart” type question, delve into the “creepy fan” domain. That kinda sucks.

So, in order to ask him some pointed philosophical questions (like what’s his favorite strategy in “Settlers of Catan”), Wil Wheaton needs to become a fan of *me*, because it’s less creepy that way. (Maybe it’s more creepy that way, but at least I’m not the creep…) So here it goes:

Wil:

I need you to be a huge fan of educational technology. My work in transitioning a school district to Linux thin clients for their primary workstation need to fascinate you. Lengthy diatribes about vegan food, space, struggles with faith, the meaning of life, and coffee should be the first thing you want to read about in the morning. You should know the name of my wife, even though I’ve never introduced you to her.

There. Now we’re even. Drop me an email, we’ll have coffee some time. πŸ™‚