Humor

I Made It Around the Sun Again

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The SunWell, that’s 32 times now I’ve flown around the Sun. Relatively speaking, I’ve traveled 18,380,173,760 miles, which means I could have flown to Pluto and back, then taken a quick jaunt back to Uranus for souvenirs. I still would have made it back in time to blow out candles this afternoon. Of course, for that to happen, my Mom would have had to launch me into space when I was born at 18.5 miles per second (the orbital velocity of Earth). I was born fast mind you, but my mother is human. 🙂

So there you have it. In comparison to the entire universe, my 32 laps are pretty insignificant. But hey, Jupiter hasn’t even made it around the Sun 3 times in my lifetime. What a pokey little fella.

Lydia, Oh, Lydia

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This video clip is kinda special for my family. Our daughter, Lydia, really likes it. I’m sure you’ll see why. 🙂

[flv:http://web.mac.com/shawnp0wers/lydia.flv 400 300]

It probably violates copyright of some sort, but for reference sake, it’s The Muppet Show, Season 1, Episode 2.

Enjoy!

Some things shouldn’t be found

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oddshawn.jpgHave you ever been looking through a box of pictures, or in my case a pile of hard drives, and found a picture that you don’t remember? Yeah, me too. Here’s proof.

I have no idea where this is from, but I found it on an old hard drive in my office. Apparently it was from a time that I was so happy to finally have facial hair, I was reluctant to shave it off. And no, that doesn’t mean it was last week. 🙂 I’ve had to shave at least every other day since I turned 30, thank you very much.

Yay for late bloomers!

Take the green pill, Neo

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I just recovered from a 16 hour headache. It was a doozy. I feel better now, and I don’t have gas either. Odd thing to mention? I agree.

In our medicine cabinet, we have sinus headache medicine. They are green pills, which a person with a hurting melon takes every 6 hours to feel better. The problem is that some time over the past few months, we changed brands or something. See, now, the sinus medicine is orange. We still have green pills mind you, but they happen to be gas relief medicine.

So yes, inappropriate though it may be, for the past day I’ve had quite a prolific abundance of gas, and quite the shortage of headache relief. As a father and husband, I take a certain amount of vulgar pleasure in being able to clear a room with my methane emissions — but since I was alone in the bedroom with a horrible headache, it wasn’t quite as fulfilling.

I asked Donna to bring me more medicine this morning, at which point we discovered my error. It wasn’t quite as funny at the time as it is now, but needless to say, we got a little laugh out of my pain.

The moral of the story? Read the label. And maybe take both pills, because man did I have a lot of gas.

Spoonerism!!!

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I never knew this was a real thing! I do it all the time, because I’m a silly guy, but apparently it’s something definable. It showed up on my “word of the day” list, and I thought it was really cool!

Spoonerism: the transposition of usually initial sounds in a pair of words.

For example:
“I tooked the curkey” (I cooked the turkey)
“A sacon bandwich” (A bacon sandwich)

I do this a lot, much to the annoyance of my family. I must warn you, however, if you start to automatically speak in spoonerisms, you can get into trouble. When you’re discussing Robin Hood with your 8 year old, be careful with Friar Tuck. You’ve been warned.

NotYourBuntu

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With all the different spin offs from Ubuntu Linux, I thought I’d spin my own version, and make it available to everyone.

My version is a little different (aren’t they all?) — in that it will only work for me. That’s right, it’s “Not-Your-Buntu.” Since it’s Linux, and since I didn’t think there were enough different Ubuntus out there, it only makes sense for me to release it for everyone to enjoy, right?

Why choose NotYourBuntu? Well, if you’re me, it works incredibly well. It make old hardware perform like a new 8-core Macintosh, and the graphics are incredible. In fact, it will even play DVDs you don’t own! Just type in the name Just say the name of the movie you want to watch, and NotYourBuntu will retrieve the video in real time, even if you’re on dialup. It will also download all your favorite television shows automatically, and wirelessly broadcast them to your television!!! Even if you don’t have a television!!!

NotYourBuntu is an Ubuntu clone like no other. It’s too bad you’re not me, because NotYourBuntu is the fastest, sleekest, awesomest, most bestest-est Linux version ever created. I’ve also used a revolutionary compression scheme that makes NotYourBuntu fit easily on a floppy disk.

Download the full version HERE. (Please note, unless you’re Shawn Powers, and have the super secret password, NotYourBuntu won’t extract and install)

Enjoy NotYourBuntu!

UPDATE: I removed the link to the “distro” because it was really just a password protected zip file with a text file inside. The text file said something along the lines of, “Look, it was just a joke…” A password protected zip file is something that drives me batty though, so I figured I’d just get rid of it. 🙂

Back from the retreat!

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What a great 3 days! We’re all pretty tired, but everyone is home safe and sound. Here’s a little video snippet. I have the yellow balloon.

(If you watch close, I almost pass out!)

[flv:http://trunkboy.googlepages.com/helium_guys.flv 400 300]

Incoming Subspace Signal

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OK, I’m waaaay too proud of this ringtone, but I made it from television show clips, and think it is awesome. It’s an MP3 (Razr Compatible) file of the Enterprise computer from TNG saying, “Incoming subspace signal…”

I’ve gotten so many comments from people about it, that I wanted to put it here for everyone to download. So here’s for all the search engines to pick up on this post:

Free Star Trek Ringtone. Download for free. MP3 Star Trek TNG ringtone. Get it while it’s hot!

UPDATE: Here’s an iPhone ringtone version too. 🙂