Silly Things

We Have Ice

by

No snow really (I mean, there’s lots on the ground), but this morning we woke up to a nice coating of ice. I actually like freezing rain, it’s almost magical the way it puts a complete coating of ice on things.

Yes, it makes for dangerous travel. I realize that.

Still, it’s really nifty to see happen. I don’t have any photos of the ice, because I stayed inside. I’m like that. If I could stay in slippers and a bathrobe all day, I would.

Here’s my prescription for the day: Hot tea. Blankets. Movies. You have my permission to just chill with the fam. Because I’m sure it’s my permission you were waiting for. O.o

Buy a Geek, Buy a Cow

by

calcowI know I said we’d never speak of it again, but I figure the chance to humiliate me a bit, with the added benefit of, well, benefiting those in need might make it worth while.

Remember those “Hot Blogger” calendars I blogged about? The ones that yours truly graces November in? Well, it turns out that if you buy one by clicking through from my site, I get a kickback. I had forgotten about that, until today, when two things happened. One, I got a note from the calendar selling place saying that 3 calendars had been sold from my site. I made $6. The second thing was that Jane emailed telling me that between now and Dec. 31st, my “cut” goes from $2 a calendar to $4.

That got me thinking. First off, I like the idea of the Hot Blogger Calendar. It showcases folks that are “Hot” for more than just their physical hotness. I want them to succeed. I’m not comfortable trying to sell calendars that *I* am in, however. It just makes me feel icky. So here’s my plan:

(A note for my vegan friends: if you decide to buy a calendar, and want to make sure your money doesn’t go toward a cow — let me know and I’ll make sure it goes toward the purchase of a tree seedling through heifer.org)

Any monies I receive from calendars sold through this site from now until Dec 31 will be used to purchase a cow for those in need. I’ll be using a very reputable charitable organization: Heifer International. I realize this is a rough time of year for people to donate to charities, even those that are really worthwhile. So I figured some incentive was in order. (Yes, I realize you’d get a calendar with me as Mr. November, but I was thinking something a little more, well, entertaining.)

If we get enough to buy a portion of a cow ($50, or 13 calendars):
I will write and post a poem or short story about a cow. I have no idea which, nor do I have any idea what the story would be about apart from said cow — but I’d do my best to make it absurd and fun.

If we get enough to buy (2) portions of a cow ($100, or 25 calendars):
I will do a dramatic reading of the poem/short story. Depending on how the story goes, I’ll be sure to use the appropriate voices. I’d expect a British cow with a horrible accent.

If we get enough to buy a whole cow ($500, or 125 calendars):
I will do a cow inspired music video, and post it for all to see. I think THIS music will be what I’ll use. I’m embarrassed just thinking about it. 😀

So there ya go. Click here to buy a calendar. It counts if you get the girl blogger calendar too. No need to just get the guys. Heck, if you don’t want a calendar, you can always just donate money directly to the “make Shawn dance like a cow” fund via paypal. There’s really no way for me to guarantee I’m not a swindler trying to take your money — but deep down, you know I want to do the cow video, so it’s fairly safe to assume I won’t be fudging the books. Just go to PayPal.com, click “Send Money”, and send money to paypal@brainofshawn.com — I’ll know it’s for the cow, because I’ve never used my paypal account for anything else. 😀

How cool would it be if we actually raised enough to buy a cow?

Pay No Attention to the Directions

by

I found ’em!!! (They had fallen off the bookshelf) Yes, I realize I’m supposed to take them at night. If I do, however, I wake up 274 times to pee. I do not enjoy waking up that many times, but admittedly, I prefer it over wetting the bed. So my new “in the morning” method is fully doctor approved.

photo-121.jpg

Oh, and thanks for all the pokes. 🙂

Sophie From Shinola – Part 18

by

(Read here for links to the whole story, and why it’s being written)

Blink/Sophie sat in as fetal a position as possible in the corner of a phone booth outside of Negworth, Amsterdam. Their recent merging was, of course, successful. Both minds were now in perfect harmony, and mostly open to one another. Therein started the awful realization.

“Blink, it’s so hard because our memories don’t line up exactly right. Is that because we interpreted the situations differently?”, thought Sophie.

“Well, normally I’d say yes”, thought Blink, “But our memory divergence goes far beyond what differing points of view would explain. Apart from our thread-bonded love and compassion, everything seems different in our pasts. Even our recent past.”

“Blink, we’ve both changed. I’m a little girl living in the head of… of… well, we’re in the same head!”

“I know sweetie, and I’m so happy to be merged with you.” Blink emoted love to Sophie. “Travel back in our memories though. I’m not even sure what a coconut is, and yet, you remember — no, experienced — us both living on them. Sophie, I’ve never been to a desert island.”

Blink could feel fear well up inside Sophie. Horrible scenes of Not-Sophie, emotions of pain, and crippling terror were flooding their consciousness.

“Sophie! Wait!” Blink solidified their thread-bond, and opened his entire consciousness to her. “I don’t want you to think I’m anything other than Blink. Sophie, you can see everything that I am. I love you. I can’t lie to you. I will not hurt or deceive you.” He could feel her calm down, and relaxed himself too.

Blink/Sophie worked together, slowly piecing together the horrible truth regarding the sterilization fleet. It was Sophie that first realized the fleet wasn’t destroying planets, but rather, terraforming the galaxy piece by piece into parallel universes in order to create the perfect Tragethen empire. Why destroy a planet, when enough dimensional shifting would bring forth a slave planet?

“Sophie!” thought-shouted Blink, “That explains their need for a dual mind!”

Blink/Sophie began to realize the futility in the way the Space Force was trying to defeat the Trageth. Amassing armies was pointless, and the SF officers with their single minds had no way of knowing the Trageth were just trying to keep them all busy. Just as Blink/Sophie started to plan their next move, the phone booth seemed to change.