Like Christmas, Only Lamer

Next week, I can go public with the project I’ve been putting a lot of time into recently. I’m looking forward to that, because my blog is where I usually yammer on about such things. My blog is so darn popular, however, that if I talked about it, both my readers might tell, and I’d lose the deal. It’s like Amway. If both my readers tell two of their friends, and two of their friends tell two of my friends… or something like that. I never could figure out how Amway was gonna make me rich.

So, next week sometime will be the glorious reveal. Don’t get your hopes up too high though, because, well, it might suck. 🙂

4 Eyed Geek

For the first part of my life, I grew up in the ghetto of Detroit, in a single parent home. Mom and I were very poor. When I was 4 years old, however, I had to get glasses. Not just glasses, mind you, but Coke bottle thick welfare glasses. You can probably imagine that growing up, I wasn’t the most popular kid, and whether I admitted it or not, those nasty plastic glasses just killed my self image. My geeky brain and scrawny physique didn’t help either.

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When I was in high school, I got a job, and saved up enough money to buy contacts. Since my 10th grade year, I’ve worn contact lenses, and over time, started to build a little self confidence. Heck, as a senior, I even had a girlfriend (my first), and now, 17 years later, I just celebrated my 12 year anniversary. I married a girl way out of my league — and things are going quite swimmingly. Then, today happened.

It started a few days ago when I played racquetball with a coworker. We are both old and out of shape, but that didn’t stop us from playing hard for almost 3 hours. Partway though one of the games, I got hit in the eyeball with that little blue bit of flying rubber. It didn’t really hurt, but my eye was bloodshot enough the next morning that I opted to wear my glasses instead of trying to get contact lenses in. I did the same today, because my eye was still irritated. Mind you, my glasses are no longer thick (ultrathin lenses), and are not welfare plastic (wire rimmed thank you very much), but still, I’m wearing glasses again.

My wife and I were in the store this evening purchasing a few gifts for the girls, and on the way out the van, I got pelted in the head with a snowball. Out of the blue. When I turned around, expecting to find one of my more childish friends laughing — I saw a group of college aged kids snickering and rushing inside as though they were innocent.

My reaction probably should have been along the lines of, “those darn kids.” In that moment, however, I was instantly transported back to middle school, and that group of college kids were the same ones that picked on the 4 eyed little geek on the playground. I instantly felt that same helpless, embarrassed, defeated, rage. The difference is that I’m a grown man, and a father. They say Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. I would argue that Hell hath no fury like a parent seeing a child getting picked on. In some sort of weird, dual-role rage, I handed my packages to my wife, and RAN back into the store to, well, at that moment, to KILL those jerks. Thankfully, the tromp through the slush did calm me down a bit. When I got into the store, and yelled at the group, “Can I ask what THAT was for?!?!” They immediately scattered, and tried to pretend they didn’t hear me. That did not please me.

Basically, the scene ended as I chased down the 2 young adults that stayed together, and pretty much scared the ever loving dog doo doo out of them. I read them the riot act, and then went back to my car, unsure why I was SO angry. On the way home, I realized that I was angry because a group of bullies was picking on the little kid with glasses. This time, however, that little kid didn’t live in a home without a father figure. There was a Dad in the family, and he didn’t tolerate stuff like that. Yes it’s weird that I was both the little kid AND the Dad, but that’s how it went down.

I’m so thankful my own kids get to grow up with a father. And I’m even more thankful to be that father. And a note to the bullies? The Powers dad is one ornery SOB. Don’t mess with his kids.

Ice, Canoes, and Slight Insanity

The woolen socks itched. Well, I guess that’s not really true. They were rough and scratchy, but weren’t really irritating. At the least, they were a reminder of the rough outdoors, and at the most, they kept my tootsies from freezing and falling off. I’m thankful for both.

Black Friday, instead of braving the stores for deals, I was invited on a winter canoe trip. Sure, it sounds a bit dumb, but really it was beautiful. The men I went with were quite prepared for a turnover, so even if one of us did go over, we’d have little repercussions apart from a great story to tell. The friend that invited me is an incredible paddler, so even that possibility was quite remote.

If you’ve never been on a canoe in the winter, it’s very likely you don’t know how amazing the scenery is either. The warmth of the water makes for the most incredible frost you’ve ever seen. Every blade of grass and twig of tree has a huge, pipe-cleaner like gob of frost clinging to every surface. It’s amazing. If you’ve ever seen snow clinging to trees, and thought it was beautiful — imagine that scene multiplied by 10. It’s breathtakingly beautiful. Words just can’t describe.

Hopefully your Black Friday was as pleasant as mine. But realize, it’d have to be pretty darn good for that to be true. 🙂

Numb3rs, Revealed.

After an overindulgence of melange spice turkey, I had a realization that the numbers were in fact television stations. In our audio/video behemoth system, we have the ability to tune in several cable stations, and rebroadcast them throughout the school. One of the custodians wanted me to switch one of the stations so he could watch basketball or some such thing while he worked. His numbering was slightly off, but I’m certain that’s what the note meant: (UPDATE: The top transceiver is broken, so in fact “6” had to become “27”)

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So is the truth less exciting than you’d hoped, or more far fetched than you’d imagined? Either way, feel free to keep eating turkey sandwiches.

In Which I Change the Numeric System

I found this note taped to my office door this morning. I’m the technology director for a K12 school, and my office is inside the library. You now have just as much information as I do. Please tell me what this note means.

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My guesses are:

  1. I’m expected to “fix” the state Lotto, or
  2. Manage a football team, or
  3. Eradicate all signs of the metric system in door-taped notes

I can’t even think of more snark. The note completely perplexes me. I’m not opposed to being perplexed mind you, but this level of perplexedness is rather uncommon. I anxiously await your interpretations.

UPDATE: Apparently, comments are now broken for this post. I don’t know why. If you can’t comment, I apologize. I’ll try to figure it out later…

UPDATE2: Fixed. Dunno what the deal was.

Raking Update

It turns out I did have helpers, and some were even adults. (Thanks Josh!) As soon as we emptied that last tarp, the snow started coming down pretty hard, and before we even had the rakes all put into the van, the freshly raked lawn was covered with a blanket of white stuff. We cut it close.

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Raking Snow

I have to rake tomorrow. It’s not my lawn, and due to an unfortunate series of circumstances, I’ll be raking the yard with very little help. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be fine, it’s just that we had a dusting of snow today. It’s not enough to stop the raking, but it is a reminder that the high will be in the mid 30s tomorrow.

I’ve never raked in long underwear before, but I think tomorrow I just might. 🙂